Event in Small Town

Friday night about 8:45 there were loud booms everywhere in town. I couldn’t tell
where they were coming from.Bombs, maybe? I called friends.They didn’t know.Finally
about 30 minutes later, I decided to go to bed and forget about it. The next day
i learned it was fireworks that were part of a wedding. Crazy, huh? I thought
the city didn’t allow fireworks inside the city limits. With false alarms I
will probably be asleep if we are bombed.In Pryor Creek, Oklahoma you never know
what’s going on.

Courage

John Wayne said “Courage is being scared to death,but saddling up anyway”. That
can be said about cancer patients. There you sit waiting for your unknown treatment
and being told nothing. People, that’s PANIC. This is small town thinking so I don’t know
how it’s done in a city like Tulsa. Cancer is so feared, it seems that they would want
you know as much as possible so you wouldn’t be so afraid. That is one of the bad
things that can happen to you in a small town or maybe not, I don’t know.

Reality

It has been said that “Acting is the illusion of reality”. When you are concerned
about cancer returning you feel as if you are an actor trying to give the
illusion that you are fine. In doing this sometimes you can mess up big time.
I do this occasionally and just laugh while feeling foolish inside. I hope other cancer
people will help me out with their take on this problem.

Morale Up

I am finally feeling better after my latest cancer scare. It seems to take longer to get
myself under control each time this happens. I project myself into the future and see
chemo and nausea and being treated as though I was less than human. Those times were not
good. The finance people were the worst by far. I sure hope this doesn’t happen again.
I am positive most people feel the same. Better days are ahead, I’m sure.

End of the Line

Some times you feel as though time is running out and there is something behind you that
is slowly catching up with you and it isn’t good. I have days like that when I feel like giving
up but something comes along and cheers me up and makes life seem like living and
you start wondering what’s around the bend.

Killing the Host

In a book I was reading about Indians of the old west and they had a saying about mistletoe.
It lives off a limb then the limb dies. I thought of cancer and how is like that in that it kills the host.
Dreary thoughts, I guess, but cancer people can not always look on the bright side.

One day at a time

Of all the advice I have been given, Living one day at a time, I believe is the best. This allows you to
get through a whole lot of days without too much stress. Mostly, when I think I might have cancer
again, is going into what might happen to me later. The financial people talk to you so bad and
expect you to give up everything you possess to them without any thought for you. Their only
thought is money. You are not a real person to them. I’m still treated the same way after all these
years.(1998 til now. And I pay every month. If you don’t have insurance,cancer is devastating.
It sure was a blessing when I got Medicare.